BLUDHAVEN: Hau Blud Becumed NuBlud
by D'arkTorgam'i
Summary: Prekwell deux Dark Soichiro aboot waht Blud was dong n heathen up 2 da end of da timlups!
1. MAH NAYM S BLUD!

AN: FCUKIG EIGENVALYOUS R TEDDIEOUS ASS FKCUN HEL!1 ANYWASY HARES MOAR FIK BUT NOT SAME FIK BUT IS KONNEKTD! :)

(SN: "LAUW" SMTII (AN: S DAT HAU YU SPILL LAW N JUDDGE DREAD?))

"My name is Blud Banana King of Shinigami" I rroaed. "We shinigami code strom ur haven wenever we wnated so I suggest you give me yor chef for sum blood banoffe pi!"

"One of these days Blud!" God whimpered cos he was sad his punny knigdom and god powees held nuttin on da shinigami off cropse ahahahahahahahaha I love beeng keng!

Smoosh went da yummy blood banoffe with my now endless stoke ff bold bananas. Then I slathered da whit walls in mah nu manson God made me red with blood so now it was da Bludmanson.

Lots of heaveny stuffs happend but dey rly weret' impotent. Until one dai...

"Tell me God, deux mlutipel wods exits?" I questered with kuryous face.

"Ask Staen he studies dis shit!" Then god ran in fear cos Im juts dat good.

So I gotted on my hellbike an began my RIDE TO HELL: RETRIBUTION... for something I dunno what da retribtion s for.

(SN: "Infrenal Kasumigahsucky" SMTIV)

"RIDE TO HELL RETRIBUTION!" I shooted while driving thru earth endeux hall, wich was all fire an demons an a giant red carpet deux Stan's hall.

"Knock kock!" I grinned into da dore.

"Who the hell are you? GET IT!?" a voyse responded.

"BLUD BANANA KING OF SHINIGAMI, SHINIGAMI KING!"

"Cumin" said the mysterious voyse cuming mystrieously.

"WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! Satan is aan ode man with no noes!"

"Look at my full name card, it's Tom Satan Riddole Voldemort Bombadil!"

"Hey Satan do multiple words exits?"

"Do dey? Why donut I sho yu!" as Voldemont pulled out a sepcial wand taht loked lik it caym frum an evil tree. Some magic white shooted out and made a vizio tat he narritted.

**FLASHBACK FOR VOLDEMONT**

"At one point, an avarkavadara spill form a goth was aboot to dom mii, wen I teleportaled away"

The video shoed a blast of magic ten slomoed for a shot of a Teleportaled Voldemont into a mysterious nothingness into an odd vrotex.

"that vortcks yu see s wat s noen ass da inderdumenshunal rift. I studied it but neer fort Id ned it. Den I went deux an alternate wod I stoodied wer Veron Dursly wuz mah... SUNN!1"

At dis point I assed, "so, did taht paln trun oyt ne better?"

"YESSSSSSSSSS! I lived an Dumblydoor was gone an had my son in charge of Hogwarts!"

"So, did you try expilring udder dymansons?"

"Not yet cos Im fine in dis 1, but I made a special machine dat tarvels dem! Care deux tets et onn a radnom word!?"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" I grinned blood.

So Vlodemont shotted me to. A WHOLE NEW WURLD!

IN DA NEW WORD!

(SN: Earthbund Bik Teem)

I was ridding motorcycle but something in trote so spat and cossed sum expulshens but spit wasn't set on apocalyspe so it just toke out the whore streat while I evilled and whistled da Erthbound byke Them. EVILLY!

I karshed into a hall whar I saw a badass looking man tending to some androyd. I gave ? face.

(SN: "Blud Feelds" Dissida Version)

"YES? I'm busy rebuilding a dead android hear!"

"How wood a robot dye?"

"His circuits acted all funny and he fort making dis Suzaka dood who loves swicthing sides so much he jumped between shady and nonshady spaces in parks in summer a member of our Knights of the Round who are lik reely poweful and importent doosd was a god idae an den he got kiled. My name is Zaber El Badass btw, an dis is mah Z-saber." He showed off a badass Z-shaped Zaber but at firts I fort he ment da Z-Saber form MegaMan X.

Juts den a blood abana dorped an I ate it. Zaber questerd, "Is that banana made of blood? Wait, what da hell are you and why do you have like a creepy body of creepy blood?"

"BLUD BANANA KING OF SHINIGAMI, SHINIGAMI KING!"

"Why have I never herd off dat b4?"

"Mabe cos I'm from da Deth Note world? Wait one monmet." I salmoned da masheen an had it skan dis wod.

"Universe Identified" da machine repled, "Code Geass: Awesome of the Rebellion"

"Who is this Awesome?" I assed.

Zaber innerjocked, "He is my enmii an I bult dis androde affer killing the actual guy hu wuz hs dad."

"All dis exposing s boring me! Fix that robot so we can do sumting elts!"

"Last wire... and dere!" Zaber smriked. "Have you ever watched _Attack of da Killer Tomatoes_? There's a joek about ketchup an yu mit lik it cos ketchup is kinda lyke blood."

"KETCHUP LIKE BLOOD!? I USE KETCHUP AS BLOOD BECOS IT IS BLOOD!"

Tehn we did da ketchup song (SN: Ketchup Song (AN: Dis song plays also over da necks seen not just dis sentents cos data be a watse LOL!)) cept I sawpped ketchup whiff buld and went for da movie!

**DA HILITES OFF DA MUVEE... ****_IN MONTAGE!_**

"So tomatter joose is lik blood banana cos it kills?" I askd and Zaber nodded.

"I luv hau dis film tires 2 pas of SanFran as NuYork" Zaber lolled.

"Lol he died cos he sayed ketchup!" I loled cos he dyed an da tomotas ware all lik NYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEH!

"Dat song is poweful enuff deux en da word" We cirnged frum Pubbertie Lov cos It sounded lik Satan wort it so necks tim wii mitt Ill ass him waht other word ending tings he worte.

"OMG A GIANT CHICKEN I WANT TO EAT SOME CHCIKEN FRUM KGB WEREEVER DAT RISTORANT S!" Den we goggled it an leaned it was no ristant an gave :( face.

Afer da movie Zaber razed hs Z-Saber and sayed, "Blud, I tink we code tets eech udders strong! I want to spar and fight and lean for booth f uss!"

"Will DEUX!" I grinned.


	2. ADVENTURE! BLUD AND ZABER DUO!

AN: YO COOLEG S DUNN DUNNNN DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE AND I HAVE MOAR FIC AND THIS MIGHT GET KINDA LUNG AND DARK SOICHIRO'S BRAKE MITE BEE LINGER DAN SHOTR BIT IT'S KONNEKTD YULL C!1 :]

**DUAL! I VS ZABER1**

(SN: "Dose Hu Fite" Advent Khildren Vershin)

_I SLASH ZABER!_

"Ahahaha" Zaber lolled. Yo fit well, butt I got this!1" He gotted a Z-shaded saber and pointed it. "ZABER ZORRO!" He yilled and slashed a Z-shape made of Zs then thrust da Z fowerd AND IT BURNED but not long cos I was a shinigami!

Then I spat at Zaber but he cut the spit and it was xploed in haves and kiled sum ants.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is quite the stranf of a badass, but not a professional badass!" Zaber rushed in with a flurry of ZABER ZORROS while I did a McFlurry of McFlurries from a nearby McDonalds cos the McFlurries all fell on the floor from when I crashed da hall so Zaber now had a whipped creym berd lik Santa Claws. For dis he got lik reely piessd and did a plugne attek lik Drak Soles with a spinning Z on the top.

But then ZABER WAS OFF GUARD AND I DID A SHROKUYEN and he felw back but did a flip and landed on his feet.

"VERY GOOD! Now take this!" ZABER DoD a spinning bird Z-slash made of Zs that was like Spinzaku meets Chuuni frum Strait Fighyta and Zs span everywhere but I PINCHED IT HARD but dat wast any good cos he did a spinning-drop-kick-karate-chop-uppercut-headbutt COMBO and I samcked indeux da wall KOd.

"You have a lung way to lean, but lean you will furm mii, and **_WELL LEANED YOU WILT BEE!1_**"

I got up all spinny eyed and assed, "what do we train?"

Zaber grinned "BIKE CHASES WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(SN: "Bike Chase" Crohno TRIGGER)

Zaber and I hit the gas with our bikes already on FULL GEAR cos that MAKES things MORE AWESOMELY EPIC!

"See that tarck? Weer gong up!" Then Zaber and I did loops till we were at top of Zaber'z oface AND HE BULIT A ROMP!

"LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAEV TO...JUMP!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111!111111111111!1" Zaber chuckled and did the Dangeresque teem sung but there was no body double cos this wasn't a movie THIS WAS A REAL ADVENTURE cept not cos we haven't gotted to the adventure cos we haven't actually chased anything.

DEUX motorcycles bounced some cars into explosions lik Supper Mario Bors. and they war ourz but den sum kops tryed to chase but I spat a stiky spit and tehy and crasjed and BRUNED litrolley and we rolled thru da rode!

Then we smooshed over a tanker wich held some water and flooded da street and I threw a blood banana so it dissolved and created a BLOOD FLOOD (GET IT!?) which drowned evey1 in blud abana ass wii exscapd but then AN ODD KNIGHTMARE was trailing us.

"MAKE WAY DUDES AND RESURREKTD DIKTATER CUMIG TRHU!" sayed da dood wif pruple eyes!

"Strait outta China!" Zaber lolled. "I will let Mao deel wif yu dis time Awesome! However, Leloosh, I must ask you, do yu ever fell jeloss off yer burther beeng so awesomely awesoming awesomelybadasssauce awesomeful brother Awesome is?" Zaber sayed evilly.

"Yes... but you teknikally are da enemii..." he ponded looking at Awesome and Mao who were attacking each other higher and higher till it was the startospeher and den spayse and evey1 else code onli stare at dem and codent notice Leloosh.

"But Mao is the enmii and we all haev sumting against Awesome so let's let him kil Mao and den we wil kil him baek."

"Fien... Ill joyn..." and den Leloosh joined da party!

(SN: "The Chase of Highway" FFVIIAC)

"Now let us enter I new word!" and I clikd da masheen an da free of us drove in2 da portal but it wast just a indterimensoinal poratl cos da masheen sayed dis word was... THE TIME PORTAL!

BUT THERE WERE RAPTORS EVERYWHERE AND WE RAN AKROSS DA DINO ROAD WHERE RAPTORS RAN AND FASTERED FROM DA HUNGARY RAPTORS!

"Hurry eat da new meels!" da raptors hungered and chased.

"I haev a paln!" Leloosh sneakered and mind-control Geassed da raptors into... CANNIBALS! Da raptors all aet eech udder and I kilked da masheen indeux da new word.

Den we khased da roed sum moar akross and wundered were dis nu word wuz. Dere were humens hoo caled demselves shinigami but had no death notes so I fort it was a joke and dere were pirates in satrw hates ass wel.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY PRIVATE CABIN!?" sayed an odd light-bluish dood. "BUHLEACH IS NOW A TRANEWERCK OFF A SOTRY AN I BEEN HIDING SINCE COS I DON'T WANT NO MORE OF DA WRITER'S SHIT COS SO MUCH ANTI-LOGIC HAPPENED DAT I FUND A PROTAL DEUX REEL WORD AND LEANED TITE KUBO S INSANE!"

"You muts be Grimmlow from buhleach... and if dere are pirates... THIS IS Adventure in Soul Society! The Ultimate Team - Luffy and Ichigo SO LET'S GO TO HIS OFACE AND END BUHLEACH COS WE CAN AND SO WE CAN GET SOME REAL WORLD DESTRUCTION!" Zaber nerded and evilled.

"But I dun wanna confront him cos he's nuts and has no idea how to end it and I bet six mochi balls it inclueds da setnence 'ICHIGO BECUMES JESUS!'" Grimmlow sayed cos Kubo was a reely scary dood cos he had no logic cos he ate it all so he code keep writting cos it was holding him back and this is all a bunch of stuff he was telling me but he was saying it reely boaring so Im suming et up cos you wont get ass board."

TO DA REEL WORD AND INTO KUBO'S OFACE!

Some pirate ships shot explodeng blood bananas cos we rekruted dem an I spat an da dore deux da oface was opinned. We found... TITE JUBO!

"STOP! Bleach has to finish first!" Kubo plead in sad cos he was nao in deep siht.

"THEN END IT NAO!"

"OKAY!" Kubo desperated. So he wrote up da ending for Buhleach ass fats as posable, and it went lik dis:

AIZEN SUKED IN DA SOLE OFF EVEY EVIL DUDE COS DAT WAS HIS PALN ALL ALONG "AHAHAHAHAHA MY PALN HASS GOEN TO PALN ICHIGOG!" HE LOLLED ASS HE TRUNED INTO LCUIFUR COS HE WAS THE EMBODIMENT OF ALL EVIL!

"I WILL NOT LET EVIL DUDES DO EVIL DUDE THINGS!" ICHIGO SAYED AND SHOTTED A FINALLY FINAL FOR THE END OF ALL THINGS GETSGUA TENSHO BUT AIZEN ATE IT AND SPIT A MACHINE GUN WAVE OF BALCK HOELS AT IGCHIHO BUT HE DEFELEKETD DEM ALL AT SELING AND EXPLOD AN ROKS COSHED AIZEN IN HEAD AND ONE WAS COSH-SHAPED SO HE WAS COSHED WITH A COSH. (GET IT!?)

THEN ICHIGO'S SORD EVOLEVD INDEUX A XROSS AND HE ATE IT! THEN HE EVOLDVE AND ABSORD EVEY NOT EVIL SOLE THAT AIZEN DIDNT EET AND BECUMED... JESUS!

"Told ya so! Grimmlow" cuhckled.

THEN HE CROOSIEFYED AIZEN DEDD AND MAED A NEW WORD IN HIS NAME!

COMING SOON: BLEACH NECKS ~ DA HARUM OFF IHCIGOG!

Cept dat never cumed cos no one wanted it.

"We have a new porjekt for you Kubo!" some Shonen Jump dood sayed ass he brote an odd loking dood. "This guy here is D'arkYagam'i and we are gonna have you draw a manhwa wif his suppervsion. It is... LIGHT AND DARK THE ADVENTURES OF DARK YAGAMI and yes WE ARE MAKING A MANGA OF THE GREATEST STORY OF ALL TIME YOU HERD DAT WRITE (AN: CEPT MAYBE IT'S SEQUEL WICH YOU CAN READ FOR DA DEETS! CEPT STORY IS FOR DA DEETS OF DARK SOICHIRO SO THIS ONE HAS MORE DEETS IN IT ANYWAYS... :/)!"

"Alright, necks wlord!" I sayed an boted up da masheen ass I, Zaber, and Leloosh balsted off baek on our way to...

"Masheen, tell us dis necks word!" I sayed in da middle of a foristy. And dere was a pink pony leeping over bear traps and nuclears and lasers and danger cos the forest was danger I think.

"WORLD IDTENIFEID: MY LIITLE PONLY FREDSHIP S DANGER" da macihne cmoputed.

**_I'LL SAY SUM MOAR NECKS CHAP LOL!_**


	3. KIRA IS DEAD

_AN: YO DUDS I ALMOATS BEETED KILLER IS DAD BOT DA FI NAILBOSS HAD DIS PART DAT DEMANDS YOU HIT SKWAR WAYYYY TO FATS AND IS BULLSHIT AND I YT THE RETS AND I HAVE MICKSD FEILINGS BUT I WRITE CHAOPTER THAT HAS SOMETHING LIKE IT ANYWAYS~_

(SN: Goldeneye 64 Elvadurr Mzuick)

Da pink pony loked at a blood banana and was actin reel funni all lik, "CHEERY BANANANA! CARRY BANANNA!"

"I think you donut reelize dat dis s uh BLOOD BANANA! THEIR MAID OFF BLUD!"

"Then are you a cheri? Oh I bet you are oh I bet yo*u are!"

*"I AM BLUD BANANA KING OF SHINIGAMI! AND SHINIGAMI KNIG!" I shooted in teh midel off da setnense. (Auters Noet: Et overlups en dah "*" thingy)

"Shiny gummy!? Shin iGam's Eye!? Shin Megami!?"

I was getting reel pised so I poyntd maypole at her and shooted "SHUT UP!"

"Okay!" she sayed and shooted a dor in da foristy labeled up.

"WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF DID THAT DORE CUMED FRUM!?" as I blowed blood outta my ears lik da chef in Killer is Dead boles steem layt n da gaem who is da best dude cos he is tje moats cyder off da kru.

"I AM AT A LOSS AS TO WHAT THE HELL IS GONGON!" Zaber and Leloosh showetd cos dey ware alzo stick.

"OKAY MISS PNIKY HOSER HINGY TELL ME ABOOT DIS WURD!"

"!Okay So... THIS FORETS IS DANGER AND DIED WERE PONLIES AND DED AND SOME DIDN'T DIE BUT THEY DIED LATER BECOS THE FORST IS DANGER AND ONE OF US DIED AND COUGHED BLOOD AND WAS DEAD AND OTHERS TRIED TO LEAN TO LIVE WITHOUT DEAD BUT FOREST DRAGGED EVEYONE IN WITH DANGER AND THEY ULL DYED COS D AFOREST LORED DA PEEPS AND SOME OTHER TARPS CAYMD AN KILL DEM BUT I DINT COS I WUZ MAINTAINING DA APRTY CANAAN N NTTUING WITCH WOOD BE EVUL LOL _WICH I AM NUT_ JUTS NROMALL BUT A SHINE IGUMMY LIK YOO DONUT SEEM FEAR OR FRAID OFF FORISTY SO FITE DO FORETS COS ET S DANGER1" seh sayed w/ :D fkae.

So I draged aot a bit of spit and carved it indeux a sciff. Den I spun rund and spatted da sciff an DA HOEL FORETS WAS GUN SO DERE WAS DANGER NEVERMOAR!

But da pinky pny's hed was cutted off... BUT DEN IT FOLATED AND RESTUCKED DEUX HARE!

"AHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHA!" She lolled lik dat evil Pairodocks dood furm YuGiOh. "I WAS EVUL AN KILE DA RETS COS I AM A DARK LADY, NOEN BI DA KELTS ASS A... KIRA!"

"PARTY CANNON, FIR!"

(SN: Duhvorjak Simpony No. 9 Finale, ass mayd faymuss bi Assura's Warth and Killer s Ded an Ren and Stimpy)

Streemers lunched all over da watseland and Zaber and Leloosh paniked "OHNOES WE R DUMED!"

"NO WE WIN!" I rorred an biked on a wheely strait at da evul pink ponly an da motorkykle rorred an jumped as EYE lurched et indeux da sky an samcked da cannon but she evilled and lolled and balsted da praty canon and streams smooshed on my fase and I had :/ face. BUT DEN I HAD A BITTER IDEER!

"LELOOSH! ZABER! I NEEDZ A GUN!"

Leloosh toke out a pistoll he wuz sayving and I pulld out da cilp and smooshed my hand in. "NOW ZABER! SHOOT AS FAST ASS YU CNA!"

Zaber shoted bits off finger and hand wich asplode cos HAND GRENADE! Now in bullet form so splosions shooted party cannon on indise and streamerz belw up and pther oarty sutffs rigt in da pinky fsae!

BUT SHE HEADBUTED ALL OF THAT SRAIGTH BAK ATT US REEL FATS BUT DATS K COS I MOWHAWKED IT IN HALF SO IT WENT AROUND IN DEUX HAVES AND STOPED AND ASLPODED WAYYYYYYYYYY DUE FARR 4 USS TOBE INJURD OR SKAHTED!

But then that pinky brote an axe, and went ACKS KRAZEE with slash all over theair an dstraemrs flowd all ovre da air wich was sick and sytle!

Then Lellosh dacedid, "I WILL GEASS DIS FITE DUNN!" and Geassed da pink but she was TOO CRAZY TO TAYK GEASS and there was sum ode essanse on dat and I had a paln!

I reddied da Royal Death No- wait f-ck I lossed dat wen Dark KOd me in da brain so I needed a new note.

As pinky leepd all ovar da plates I leeped for skraps of tree and chiseled into paper and smooshed some blood which made it turn into Death Note paper and I was king so it was Royal Death Note and I worte...

**KIRA IS DEAD, BITCH!**

Then pinky exploeded iinto cotton candy but dat reacted wif da acks an da ode essens on it and dat exooded indeux da def noet an expolded an da masheen was all lick:

**_ALERT: THREE SUKJBETS SCANED TOBI STONED! IT'S A STONED!_**

(SN: "INADGADAADAVDIA" iRon Buterfli)

Den wii falled on da folr and da masheen trollingly lolled at us, "YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT! Maybe, but I wanted deux maek dat ref cos it was finny XD!"


	4. BLUD STONED

(SN: "IN-DAGADA-VDUH" iRon Butterfli (AN: Keep playing from lass chap if you juts went furm it deux hear :))

_AN: WAITING FOR GODOT WAS DUM DERE IS NO AKSWAL GODT AN NO KOFEE AN WAS DUM_

A mstruyious toilette wiff mai ode faye bunced arund. It was... FART YAGAMI!

"WTFFFFFFFFFFFF AR YU DONG?" I spatted and gaped. Then Leloosh examined him and he was squeeky cleen.

"Ur stond and ur memry s becumd realty. Nao I shell guyd yu and dose udder deux dudes! Btw, dat acks was stoned wiff essans f poisson toed an das wai ur all stond."

Eveything was all rainbowy cept it was all da colours f blood so it was a BLOODBOW and I and Zaber and Leloosh wanderrd in da twitsed tonel off blood and scabby blood WHEN A BLOO HARED TV shoed upp.

"WTF IS DAT!? O WAIT IM STUND I BET DATS JUTS A HALLSOFILLUSIONS!" I kookied.

"Akwasly Im ur dimension masheen. I haev no iDeer wat I loek lik doo yuo, but I dun kare cos Im a rabot -_-" da rowboat repld.

"Blud I see teh weerd protal agann an I geass wee sud follow thru" sayed Zaber entering teh oprtal.

Satrrge raindbws shooted and we war suked en. Da masheen wnet... "KAMINA DIE"

dere war sum peeps making sad cos som dood was ded. THEN THERE WAS A GIANT BLOOD PANBANA SO I BEGUN DEUX PILL IT!

"STOP CRANKING ME YOU STONED IDIOT OF A SHINIGAMI!" Den a brite light shooted and out was a cros wiff all golwing lites an den a protal opend up and I herd da ded dude undie and say "Thanks to Jesus, I have returned to life!" ab da misein sayed "UNVIERSE SHIFT: GURREN JESUS" but den Fart Yagami flushed and released some stinky gas an Zaber bleched at how stinky it was and den he sayed "BLUD YU MUTS GO DEUX DA PATS NOW OF YER OWN UNVIERSE"

Den da masheen sent us baek into my old hous and we met Samanther who was sexi and no one else was in da rrom.

Samanther den slaped me "YO AMNESSEER MAKING BASTARD! Hey who's the udders?"

"I dunno but I will grant yeux a deel. One day I will undo Soichrio's memory bom but yu must sex with me. I need a half-shinigami-human son cos dat maeks a vampie and he will guarnatee da future future exitsences but we gotta send him to da pats so I can raise him with Watari so he's fit for beeng my sun."

"SURE! WITH HIS MEMRY BAK SOICHIRO WILL BECUME HIS OLD SEXII SELF!"

So we tarvelled deux da pats on a flying elepfant with rainbow skin and a perly uni horn into da pats and sexed and sped psat da munths and da kid was porn. Den I snook ham deux Watari hous wif a naym tag.

"I WILL NAYM YU... CHAOS! Cept I act- ubebwuanzynayw (I sitll sonted sos I tork lik dis soz) YOR NAME IS KHAOS COS I THINK DATS KOOL KOS IM IN DA MEUD! NOW LETIS VENTOOR DEUX ANUDDER WORD!"

"TRANSFER INITIATE!"

Now we was att a plays wif a taon naymd Hogsment an dere was a sexii goffik chick. We frenched cos she was also stond an appraently snrot an I notiked a sine but I wuz deux sotned deux reed so I was lik "WTF IS DIS PLASE!?"

"Hogsment" da goffik sayed sexily. Wanna slep ovurr.

"Okay." I rorred.

We slept in bed sexingly but Leloosh and Zaber sleeped on da couh. Dey war palyin Metal Gear Solid 1 and won it overnite and den saw DYE HARD and I was still stond even after waking up so I haed hallusinogenk drems off Bruce Willis and Solid Snake fighting evil dudes but dats not impotent!

I was still sotned so around da goffik chik dere was DARKNESS and some SQUIGGLY LINES POINTING SOME SORT OF WAY!

"I forgotted deux aks yur naym" I assed.

"Raven"

"NOW UR PREG WIF A VAMPIE LOL!" den I feld wiff Louche and Zabes.

"MARK MY WORDS STRANGE BLOODY THING SHE WILL AVENGE ME FOR YOUR SCREWING WITH MY BODEE I FORT YUD WARE CUNDUMS TWAT!1" She skreemd.

"NOT TRU PREG MEENS BIGGER CHESTY BITS. JUST WATCH!"

Then her chesty bits exploded out of her shit all big and dripping an odd pinkish milk cos teh snorted drugs got some blood into dem I think and my man thing sprung out and cleered rows of tarffic cos it was DAT SEXY! Then her shorts and sotckings strekched ash er ass and thighs gru sum meet and den she got mussely all arund. "I SWARE I'LL MAEK HER DA BETS MAGICAN IN DA WORD!" She sayed stimbling OoT doo fide a spekial magical skoll but we ware gun bi den. :P

A buns f loed splooshed all over da inseid off da protal wich was kinda gros tho.

"MASEIN! RETURN DEUX DA CURNET TIM!" WE ALL RORD COS OUR BSNS IN DA PATS WAS DUN! Still there was an odd blue haired TV flying with angel wings arond us. :|

"Yu seem reel ditstrubd, Blud!"

"IT'S NOTHING!1"

Zaber and Leloosh got ? lik da Metal Gear Soelid ! but this was wiff questen...

"NEXT: ? UNVIERSE" Masheen

We blasted thru a word so fats I coodent even see it but we were shooted baek out thru anudda protal so now we was back at Awesome of the Rebellion but with a mysterious metal drink labeled "CYDER"

"WTF is dat?" We all assed. Den Zaber and Leloosh had anudder qesten. "Woodent Khaos and dat goff kid for Hogsment be sisters. Lik, what if one of dem had relations wif a Yagami?"

"Shinigami blood is smart and has smart cells so jeans evolve fastly wich meens no inbreeding. DAT IS WHY SHINIGAMI ARE SO POWEFUL!"

"Then why teh f-ck do shinigami not sex?"

"Becos teh king dosten lik deux manage ovar dat many shinigamis cos it's reely boaring!" I repled deux da deux hoo keeped saying der kestens att da saym tim.

"Ondeux oar mane subjockt, what is dis mistrerious CYDER?" I sayed and seeing funny robot thingies cos I was still sotnd but dee udder deux seamd fyne bai nao for sum resin/ :/

_**THERE IS STILL MORE FOR DIS CHAP BUT I'LL SAY IT LAYTER!**_

_**NOW IS LATER AND FIC IS CONTINYOOD!**_

"I will dirnk da cyder" Leloosh muttred an sipped sum. I saw some geers fly out an I swore dis was da stond but akwasly Leloosh had TRANSFORMED anbegan deux sing

"CYDERMAN, CYDERMAN

DEUS WUTEVA UH CYDER CAN

IS DA SHIT, ANY TIME

COMPUTES STUFF, JUST LIKE HAL

EYYYYYYYYY

WE ARE DA CYDERMANS!"

"I am now CyderLeloosh!" he sayed then ranoff deux sumpalce.

"I WILL TAKE THIS CYDER FOR SOME CYDER ARMY LAYTER ON I DUNNO WEN BUT I WEIL!" I lolled evillishingly with a lol.

"Now wat deux we deu?" Zaber quested and growing from his hair was a banjo and a funny eye that sproedtd a guerilla cept not cos I poked it but Zaber was all lik "yur pokin dee air dood."

"F-CK! Okay let's go baek deux Stan."

**IN HELL**

Hell was even more hellish than usual because I was stoned and now the lava had faces like that boss from Kirby 64 and the demons were all MegaTen demons. After tumbling over the weerd shit I reeched Satan's O face and he had da masheen collect all da universal data.

"You have done well Blud and..." he scanned da log, "Zaber el Badass!" Suddently I saw a Groucho Marx for his nose cos stoned, but bai dis pit I decaded if shit loked funny it was stone so I dint poek dis oen.

"Ya tanks, anyways, how many songs did you maek dat can end da word?"

"Besides da hokey cokey dat cant be oozed nemore cos each one only gets 1 use, deres POP GOES DA WEASEL and anyting by Fred Dirtst or brokenCYDE or Blood on the Dance Floor or Millionairs cos dey wore my eckperments."

"YOU MADE LIMP BIZKIT!?" Zaber yelled and smacked Satan in da plays hs noes wood be.

"Who else could've writted such insipranitonal liyrcs ass

'_I did it all for the nookie, c'mon,  
The nookie, c'mon,  
So you can take that cookie,  
And stick it up your… yeah!_'

add

'_Check it out, it's the outlaw white dog. Often called by my alias polar bear._'

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM?" he evilled.

"Do all of dem need to be done in Latin? And with a sepesall singer?"

"Obviusly yu need one with teh skin of Death Note. There code be udders. Or maybe yu code... MAEK ONE! Seeng ass yu maed deux kids, if one of dem becumed entriely off deth note, they code kill the word harder than da hokey cokey code acsheve! }XD" he den lolled even moar evilly.

"Hoeva, dere is a fava I muts ass yu. My son Veron wants a special note and is willing to pay in a cat. He wants a note that can make these 'GEASS' from Zaber's word. "I need some of Zaber's blood to maek dat!"

"Prick!" I pricked like a prick and zaber was all lik "YOU PRICK!" and den I grabed a note on vlodmeonts chare and he did sum magic and then it left open a vortex demanding a cat.

Vlodemont teleportaled away and then back with a cat and throed it in and made a... GEASS NOTE! Den he rapped it in a pakage an sended it on a male root thru sum vortex dat wood eventally karry it deux Veron's oface cos it needed some processing for safety cos teleportaling code be innersepted.

Then I notiked Satan had a funny compoter and assed, "wat do?"

"I heav palned to smoosh unvierses togetter evenatally deux gatter mass amonts of MAGIC in hoep deux fide da sauce of MAGIC!" he sayed with ecitation.

"I WILL FIND DAT SAUCE FIRTS!" I sayed and "MIND MEMORY NOTHING SPELL OF THE FORGETTING MAGIC!" den chaned him in blood for an our and made him into a regular schooly magical dood.

"NOW WE WILL TELEPORTAL TO VERON DURSLY!"

**AT HOG WARTS!**

"WHAT DA BUMBLING BUGGER IS DAT SAP AND WHY DOES HE LOKE LIK VOLDEMONT IF HE WAS MADE YUNGER AND NOT EVEL AND HAD A NOES!"

"He crashed into some nuclear and a blood banana got into his moth but Zaber, that dood wiff me, lifed him baek and now he's a plain skooly boy!"

"THAT IS MEGA SODDING CONFONDERY! I WILL THROW HIM WIFF SUM UDDER BOARING STOODENTS! BUT HE IS STILL VLODEMENT SO IF HE CUMES BAEK DEUX ODE SELF DEN I WILL KELEBRATE! AND IF HE DYES FIRTS I WILL MORN AD AVENDE HAM!"

"Yah yah wutever, anyways yor Geass noet sod be cuming in any momet... NOW!"

"WTTFFFFF!?" Zaber spatted, "C2 is Satan's mailchick!?"

"Satan's compy doss interdimensional internets tanks to yor tarvels. He skyped for busness and payed we- wait WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO STAN!?" she gapsed as she reelized da funny yung loking dood in da kalss was Satan but yonger and not as ugly.

"Look C2 I juts conkerd hell is dat so evil?"

"Yes becos where the hel wil Satan go that let's him liv up to his status as an eval dood?"

"He will fite alungsid stoodent of Hogwarts for Veron Dursly for a great turnament I will hold to gatter magic in his naym!" I smarted.

"I NEVER FORT OF DAT!" Zaber and Veron jawdorpped with :V then |:O then :D.

"ALRITE NOW I MUST TEND TO MY ORGENOL HEOM HAT IS DA SHINIGAMI WORD! ZABER AND BLUD ARE... **GO!**" den we shooted off Hogwarts and did some motorbike wheelies bakk indeux mah hoem!

**IN SHINIGAMI WORLD**

"WTFFFF I STILL SO STONED DAT IT SEEMS ALL SHINIGAMI ARE DED AND WORD IS RUIN!"

"Yes ur stoned but someone reely did wrek yur shirt wheel wii war awaii."

Then I finally wore off da stoned and was all withdrawn and hnugober and saw crops of shinigami and crosses and wrecked shinigami things and shredded death notes and a note saying "I TOLD YOU I WOULD YOU HEAVEN-WRECKIN SLOB!"

It was from... **_GOD!_**

"Zaber..."

"Blud, you shou-"

"WE'RE TAKING HEAVEN AND MAKING IT MY PARADISE IN RITTER! MY... **_BLUDHAVEN!"_**

"Then fight me at full strength and prove yor worth! We haev no iDeer how poweful God akswalyis!"

"FINE! ONE LAST DEUXL!"

**_NECKS CHAPER IS MEGA EPIC! FIGHT FIGHT MORE FIGHT YOU KNOW IT OR MY NAYM IST BLUD BANANA KING OF SHINIGAMI, SHINIGAMI KING!LOL!1111!11!1_**


	5. BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN PRAT UNE

_AN: RICHARD III IS BEST SHAKESPEER! IT HAS __**ACTION**__ AND __**TANKS**__ AND __**EXPLOSIONS WERE HAPPEN AND ONE OF THEM WAS A PLANE**__!1_

(SN: "DOES HU FITE FURTHAR" FFVIIAC)

"Now I will shoe yu da greatets powees of da Badass!" Zaber growled and lunched a Z of Zaber Zorros but I deflected it with a blood banana and blood spattered eveywere!

"MY TURN!" I lolled and lanched som swearswrods and dey skratched him sum but he slapped dem off and sayed, "GEASS TIM! DESE ARE MAED WIF YER GEASS NOET COS I WROTE IN IT WEN YU WERET LUKING!"

Zaber gloewd wif badass cos he actibated a geass. "MY BADASS GEASS!" Then he did a flip and shaved some hari spikes and shooted them in rapid fyre.

"Then I will take this on... BY HAND!" as I smooshed one hand with a gun and another with a cannon, so it was a HANDGUN and a HANDCANNON and shooted throu da hares and Zaber gave a face of full WTF. It's like jumping into a scary bus and then you learn it's driven by Satan but it's not a bus at all cos IT'S A HELL CHARIOT with a flaming horse and that's how WTF that was which just so happend deux b mah necks atak as ah sicd da HELL KARIOT right in Zaber's man thing and smackd ham aganst da wall.

"NEXT: NUCLEAR GEASS!" He shooted NUCLEARS and Zaber Zorros and more hair and detonated the nuclears and shooted more nuclears and I tried shielding wif a blood banana but the explosion ate it :/

"F-CK!" I madded and slicked mowhawk then breathed lava on Zaber's face wich burned reel hard but it grew back with his badass geass cos he was dat badass.

"Now I want you to face some BADASS NUCLEARS!" ass both Gess whirrd and da nuclears shooted all oerv da place and hellfire spewd frum da impakt sytes that left smoke all over and we codent see!

Seeing no udder koyce, I dacided deux make some chewy motions and SPATTED OUT ALL MY TEETH IN RAPID FIRE AND THEY EXPLOEDED IN ZABER'S EYES SO HIS GEASS WERE DOWNED!

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Zaber PUNCHED HIS HEAD SO HARD THAT THE EXPLODED TEETH FRAGMENTS FLEW BACK OUT AT ME BUT I MOVED DEU DA SYD AND THEY JUST BLEW UP SOMEPLACE UNIMPOTENT!

Punch adn punch and kick and kick and headbutt and headbutt meeted eech ohter and SMOOSH!

"Okay wehre the hell is this dool gong? Yu goat lik any oder tekneeks cos Im pritty board f dis and I lik reely wanna take over hevun sewn. :/" I maoned cos dis wuz reely getting n mah nurrvs.

"OKAY THEN! PREPARE FOR ME TO OPEN MY 3RD I C-ING THRU DA OVAGROWNED!" Zaber badassed and a turd eye opened and geard up reel poweful. "EVERYTHING GEASS!"

_OKAY WE NEED A COMMERCIAL BREAK SO HEAR'S AN EYE-CATCH! IT'S TO THE TUNE OF THE AZAMANGO DIEOH ONE COS I FORT THAT ONE WAS FUNY!_

**BLOOD BANANA SMOOSH! BLOOD BANANA SMOOSH! SMOOSH A BLOOD BANANA! BLOOD BANANA'S SMOOSHED!**

_BLOOD BA-NA-NA SMOOSHY SMOOSH BLOOD BAN-AN-A SMOOSH!_

(SN: "DA PRYS OFF FREEDUM" CCFinalFatasy7)

A giant glow emnatead from Zaber as PLANETS AND STARS AND GALAXIES AND PIGEONS ALL ASSEMBLED INTO A GIANT ZABER! "I CALL THIS DA TRUE ZABER! HAVE SOME SLASH!" lolled Zaber and did a giant slash.

"F_ck!" a gaint gash was on my forehead but I din't care cos this was it and I upercuted hem bak but he grabed da upercutt and hurled me into some lava then spyks den desrt and sandstorm and balck hoels and suns and bloodhungry pigeons.

I lay heavily damaged and scared cos Zaber was reel poweful. "Now taste da ultamete lesar! THE ZASER!" A giant Z-shaped laser maed off all dat carp dat hat mii b4. "ONLY ONE TING TO DEUX!" I desperated in desperate cos I was really f-cked hear.

I razed mah hed up and held da zaser bake, waiting for da rite monemt... AND I CURVD DA ZASER BAK AT ZABER! HE TOKE ALL DAT DAMGAE BAK AN FALLED BUT COGHT HIS FALL AND LANDED SAFE!

Den we jumped up and slash and slash and slash and slash and higher and higher and hire and crosed in X shape and scratched each other on the side then leaped fourth and jumped off each others kiks den some icicalls shooted out from da arena and froze teh lava den dat expolded and steem was eveywher den blood bananas erupted from some neerbi orcherds and I ate dem all and powerd up and Zaber whirred his Eveything Geass.

"I shall make my Everything Geass... a CYDERNINJA GEASS!" Then Zaber leeped lik a robo and did a chop with a shruiken then slashed the zaber and flanked som roks but he missed me this tiem!

Zaber did more leeps lik a frog cept cyder and headbutted a NUCLEAR but I punched it but he humped it but I bit and spat it back and den we kicked it so hard it blew up in both our feces. O_o

"WELL THEN LET US FINISH DIS ONES AND FOR ALL!" we both shooted and wind blew both of our hair so hard it was torn off and did full orbit and smacked rite bak on our heds cept it was switched around so we passed eech udders hares bak firts.

**NOW WE LUNGED IN FULL CHARGE PUSHING AS HARD AS WE CULD AN HARDER AND ZABER WAS HOLDING UP BUT HE HAD A WEEK SOPT AND I TAPED IT AND HE FALTERD AND I ZOOMED FORWRD AND CRASHED HM HARD ALL OVER DA PLATES ****_AND HE WAS KOD!_**

"Blud... you have becumed a tru badass... NOW GO AND MAKE YOR BLUDHAVEN!"

"THANK YOU ZABERY DOOD NOW I AM OFF TO KILL GOD AND BECUME LROD OF HEVIN AND HEL!"

So I got bak deux hell and got in Satan's bus and moded da ded frog into a NUCLEAR cannon hidden in it that would shoot with a trigger in da car and ignitted da flamescreen wich was odely visebell on da insyde I guess cos magic?

Anyways I rode to hevun and herd a voyse "O MAI GERSH DAT IS SATAN'S BUT BUT IT SEEMS ODDLY BLOODY AND KINDA SHINIG- **_OH F-CK IT'S BLUD!1 RELEESE DA AGNELS!_**

(SN: "Heaven" P4)

"Ahahaha try me!" I rorred.

Sum angels shooted halos but I spat blood and da halos exploded and da agenls crassed in2 eech uther. Dat beeng said I reelized Hevun ackslhy has a prtey lung rode deu God so deredb tonnes f alnges deux KILE!

I jumped out of da bus and blew da gates WIDE OPEN den threw mahself in2 hevun and hurled some more angels in2 each other but I was surrounded!

"Not surrounded no more now!" shooted an odd warrior with 6 arms. Reelizing he was a help, I passed him a special swearsord and he cut all da angels with a swordschockwaev da tI jupmed over den landed with us bak deux bac. "So I am Blud Banana King of Shinigami and Shinigami King and you are?"

"INTERDIMENSIONAL SORDMAN SPERME! **GILGAMESH!**"

We did tons of slash on hordes and hords of angels but some halo scraped my mowhawk wich wuz annoying and den we did some more hurls and da angles exploded in crosses lik EVANGELION but den God yilled "SEND IN DA ANGELROIDS!" and den some rbot angels shooted in and threw in some HOLYCLEARS wich were NUCLEARS baptized in holy water cos that made dem wholly and also expolded in corses and dat hurt sum and dey were all lik "Mastah, Mastua, Mahsta, Master, Maasda, Mazda" and dey woodent FUCKING SHUT UP FOR REAL YOU GUIS!

Den we did sum moar kiks and punches and finally got past the reception part of heaven and entered... THE SHOPPING CENTER!

"THIS IS DA BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN!" I shooted so loud every cash register exploded and I got all da cash wich was none cos you can buy eveything for free in heaven so they actually have no cash and the registers just give receipts but no one in heaven made a non-cash model cos this one was deux ingraned indu peeps' lifes.

So I went to a Starbucks and grabed sum Holy Roste and den got suited up for da battle with da blood bananas left over from my delivery in the storage that never came cos I was away but now Im not and unleashed a flirry of THE 100 FIST HAND GRENADE which is the 100 fists but every fist does a hand grenade and expolds and dis time I leaned how to maek shore I woodent loss mah hands n da proses. Den da angels and angleiods carhged in and GILGAMESH and I rorred "LET'S DEUX DIS!"

**GET REDDY DA REEL FITE BEGINZ SUUN! ****_ARE! YU!_****HIPD!?**


	6. BADDUL 4 BLUDHAVEN PART DEUX

_ATOR"S KNOT: OMG VALVRAPE HAS CSON DEUX AND THEY GOING TO FIGHT DA KOMMYS AND EPIC SLPOSOINS HAPPEND ALSO I HAS MANY AWSUM IDEERS 4 DIS KAP! ALSO POKERMANS XY S CUMING AN A FRED GOT IT ERLIE AND I GOTTED A PREEVUE AN IT SUNDS AWSOM BUT I DUNNO IF IVS AN BREADING IS STILE A BEACH COS IT USAULLY S AN I HAET DEM! AND I HAET DA FRED MUVEES I SAWED DIS WEAK HATE HATE HATE DA FUCKY FUCKY F_CK F-CK AN DA MOVIE WAS EVUL AND SO IS HE! ALLSO FAFFIKSHITEN DOT NETT IS A DIKE COS DEY REMOVE ALL DA EXCALMASHYEN POYTS AN DEY TOKE PAIN NOTE AND LEGUND OF LIK! I TINK IT'S SKRETELY RUNNED BY EVIL DUDES AND EVIL CHICKS AND EVIL KIDS!_

(SN: "ABULL'S ARK" XENUSEGA TROIS)

"MAZDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The angleroids cryd and shooted der panteys and dey flyd an expolded.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THE WAT WUZ DAT!" I spatted some pantie but GILGMAESH yalled "I HAVE A SPELL... THUNDGAGABLAGAGAGABOLTSHOCKOVERDRIVEORVERRIDEMALFU CKSHEN!"

The Angelroydz stoped hed twitsed and sparked den sayd...

"WE FAILD AN CAN NOO LUNGER SAPPERT GUD AND NOW WE SEE YU R STRUNG AND SARP BUT HE IS LORD ALMITEY AND YU SALL FALL BUT YU SILL BEET US AN DAT IS POWEFUL SEPELL AS IS WEPONS AN YU LIVED UR PANTYBOMS WICH IS STRING SO WE MUTS GIV RESPEK AN YU REEL POWEFUL BUT YU SOHCJOCJKED USS AN WE ELOCTROCKUTIFYIED AND I NEED SEXERS 69 HARA KIRI ROCKY BALBOA AND WE SURV GOD SOS EVUN DOUGH YUR SEXII ASS S UR MANTING WE MUTS HAYT YU COS HE IS OAR MEISTER AN HE HASS AN EVEN MOAR POWEFUL WEPONS A HEAD AND WE ANGLEYODS R HAPPI DEUX HAV DYED SURRVING UR MATSTER AN GOD WELL DFEET U COS HE HAVE PLANED IN YEERS N YERS F AGUNNY AND NOA IS HS RVUNGE IS UPONETH THY BUT WHEEL STUP TLAKIN NAOH BUTT NOTE YT AND DEN WORD IS UNDER GOD AND GOOD BUT BAD FOR U SO FOR US ALE S HOLEY AN YU DYE DYE DIE DIED DEAD DEATH DETH DEATH NOTED MAYBE NOT REALLY GOD IS STRONGER DAN DAT DETHKLOK DETHKLOK DETHKLOK I LOVE DETROIT METAL CITY RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAP RAP RAP KANYE WEST RAPPER RAP PAR GOLF MARIO GOLF MOTOI SAKURABA YOU HAVE UNCONFIRMED GOD FIGHTING SYNDROME I DIAGNOSED IT WITH MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF LINGUISTIC MASSACRE THAT ALSO WORTE DIS BIG SENTENCEY THINGY AHAHAHAH HAHAHAH :) (: :D d: :B EHEHEHEHEEHEEHEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE YOU RANG OH HI THERE I LIKE CHEESECAKE DEUX TANKS YU VARY MULCH SO DOMINANT GENES JEANS GENE GOD HAND YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE CHRONIC BACKSTABBING DISORDER LIQUID OCELOT FIGHT OF METAL GEARS JAKE SNAKE JOHN FREEMAN BROTHERS AND WEPONS JOE CHIEF ARMEE GUYS NUCLEARS HOLYCLEARS HOLYNESS MAGIC LAST DAYS OF FOXHOUND PAGE 275.5 IS DOWN AND I FEEL SAD : SO VERY VERY SAD SUPER VEGAN POWERS CORNETTOS 0.o ).( O.O o.o o.O WHAT ARE BLOOD BANANAS WHAT IS YOUR REEL NAYM GOD KNOES IT WE KNO UR SKERET HAHAHAHAHAHA UR A BIG SHINIGAMI HAU TUFF S IT TO KEEP THAT BIG MAN THING N UR PANTS YOR PANTS YOR PANTSUUUUUU WATE UR A DOOD DOODS DONUT HAB PANSTU NYEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA FLAP JAW PURPLE WO- 8 LEGGINGS PEOPLE PURPLE EATER PURLPE PEEPLE EETAH LEGGED LEEGINDS LEATHER FISHNET BLAK XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX999XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX9042XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE ALL OF YOU ALE OF YOU DOODLY DING DONG KILL KIRA KIRA7 HEADBUTT BULLETS SUDA51 SUPLEX51 LUCHADORE MUCHO PABLO WRESTLEMANIAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HULK HOGAN Your mother is a *beep beep beep*ing*beep*lorem ipsum*beep beep beep*admiumvenium*beep beep beep beep*turolagulio*beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep* hippopotamus*beep beep beep beep beep beep* Republican *beep beep beep* Daniel Radcliffe *beep beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep beep beep* in a castle far away where no one can hear you *beep beep beep beep beep beep* soup *beep beep beep* with a bucket of *beep beep* Mickey Mouse *beep beep* with a stick of dinomite *beeeeeepppp* magical *beep beep beep beep* ALAKAZAM! PIPE BOM TEACH ME WHAT LOVE IS LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE RABU RABU RABU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU RURU CAPTPAN STARRODMAN INASINTY FRANK MILLER SIN CITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IT ALL TO HELL I HATE EVERYTHING WHO ARE SHINIGAMI WHY DO DETH NOTES EXITS WHY THE PAIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH WHAT IS LOVE BABY DON'T HURT ME NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY FRED DEUX NITE OF DA LIVING FRED HATE HATE HATE HATE SAME DIREKTORR BRIAN ROBBINS GOOD BURGER NORBIT 1000 WORDS EGUCHI MATSUEDA THE BOUNCER OST IS THE WORST SQUARE SOUNDTRACK EVARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHO IS CKIRA TELL ME THE MEANING OF 42 1 + 1 = 50 BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA DESU KAWAII **WEEBZ WEEBZ WEEBZ WEEBZ WEEBZ** OH MY SCREAMING I LIKE SAD A DUDE LOOK AT SON WHO JUST SHOT I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT BUT U DINT BLEEAFVE MII WI DINT U B LEIEVE MEEEEEEEEEE A SAD DUDE WAS I LOOKING AT SHOT SUN TAT SUN I SHOTED TINKING IT ANOTHER DOOUDE WAS BUT NOT AND WASNT' AND PRETENDNIG AKWASLY WAS MISTAKED DENTISTRY CAVITIES BREAKED TEETSH IDENTITY CRISIS INFINITE COUNTDOWN 52 FINAL CRISIS CRYSIS 2 TO TOO DEUX DEUEL DUEXEL DREXEL GAME OVER GARY COLEMAN IS PRESIDENT EVIL BRISTISHY DOODS WATRAI BUMBELSOONT III BUT NOT FULLY EVIL I DUNNO WHO IS GOOD WHO IS BAD WERE WE WRONG AGAINST KIRAS WE CANNOT KESTEN BUT WHO IS THE CYDERKING WE WANNA KNOW KINGAURTHR2 CHAOPTER ATE S UR DEUXTEE I HAVE KILLED MY ONE TRUE SON FUNREAL REAL FUN FUNERAL FUNNEL CAKE AND NOW I WILL LIFE HIM AND AKET HEM DEUX SOKAR PRAKTIS ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG DUX US SAYONARA AND TAKE DAT SAMWELL BOQUET WE OUTLONGED UR LUKKY PSEECH XD XD XD XD XD XD XD BAI BAI SENPAI!111111110\nTERMINATE!"

den day all blowed up an dyed.

(SN: "OMAN' XENAJEERS)

Now thru da dore we runed and broke som dors and we passed da ShopCen and ladned OoT IN... _**SOME HOUS1**_

"HELLO" screechd an evil whiny voys... was it... FRED!?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWW WWAHAHAHAHAHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Yup, it's that f-ck!" I grabed da Deth Noet and Deth Noetd ham cos I had da shinigami eyes wich is good wen yu donut have da Royal Deth Noet but I wall getit bak l8er I heop.

"I guess you could say he was... DROP DEAD FRED! GET IT!?" GLIGARMESS Joed.

"Okay ha ha that is funny now let us run summer and taek out more agnels!" and we were off!

**IN DA LOBY OFF DA COUNSEL OF ANGLES!**

"Brf eeh hee brou ha wu ah u ra MOST UNORTHODOX A SHINIGAMI IN THE GOVERNMENT!? KILL HIM!" da boring old and icky angels in da bak sayed as moar solders bargd in saying "get dat shinigami!1" and shooted crossbows with actual crosses shooting bows that shooted crosses so it was doubleshot lik an espresso and flassed som whit lite!

"Dat is blinding but I will unwhite it!" sayed I as I cassed blood all over and turned it pink then red then scarlet then crimson then they dried blak and ladned and I Throhed dem bak and all da old weezy angies deid and da not old ones kiled demselves cos dey hed no udder wepons and didn't want deux b deth noted evan tho dey all were in hevun so dey all juts lifed bak but nu dey wood die agani so dey cowed away in a coroner and the corner of da bunch sayed "F-CK DIS IS GONNA BE DA WORTS WORKDAY OF MY AFTERLIFE!"

"Not my porblem!" I grinned. "NOW TELL ME THE WAY TO GOD AND ALSO MAKE ME A BLOOD BANOFFEE PI SHAPED LIKE DA NUBMER!"

"O-okay" they magiced a pi an sayed "go north and da path is pretty cleer!" and opend da dorr and we braged thru lolling and GIGLAMEHS snided "Shees dat's reely all yu had for yur guv? Weeksource protekshen I tells ya LOL!"

So afetr sum moar Walken around da rode and a park we fond a sign dat sayed "Archangel Territry: U SUDNT CUM HEAR LEST YE BE ONE OF US **OR ELSE WE WILL REPROGRA-** _KINDLY EKCSORT YU OTU!111111 111111 111111 :P_

"NO SINE SHELL STUP BLUD!" I rored and punched and da sing shooted into da gayts and expoleded.

"GILGAMESH APPEARS ASS WELL! HAAAAAAA!" He jumped in as the archangers all leeped out der widnows an sayed "WTF WAS THAT!?" cept it was all assed in french cosine hevun dey wer upperclass and hed du speek all snoot and snotty.

(SN: "Omeha" Xanasoga)

"HE GOING TO KILL US!? I WILL SHOOT HIM!" dey sayed and shoted lezerds which leeped and binded us den shooted laz0rz at da lizzers and dey blowed up but I pelvic thrutsed dem rite duex da flor and GILGAMESH CHICKUD IT UPE AND IT WAS A SMARTLY MAGIC BALL OF FLAYM AND DA ARCHANGELS WERE FLAMMING FROM IT BUT ABOSRD DA FYR AND SPATTED IT UP ABOVE DA HEVUNZ BUT IT LANDED IN NEEDLES AND GOTTED TURD DGREII BRUINS!

"AHAHAHAAAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAA!" we lolled at da arkangels but they peeld der bruns off and ate dem for FIREPOWER and grinned and flaemd on lik da Humen Torch!

"Okay, has God like been designing all dese wepons afer shit he watch read or ear or whatthehellever!?" I questerd wif =.O fase.

"Well he had notting better du duex! Imagine you were completely dominatrixed by some newcomer race of gods and becumed da biggots wuss in all da diets!"

"OK dat s a poyt but soz not every1 has such good sexing as I... wayt, WHEN I MAKE THE SHINIGAMI YU KILED REPLATES WIF MY NECKSGEN DEY WILL ALL SECKS AND USHER IN THE SEXING AGE OF DA SHINIGAMI anywayz let us begin deux fite for reelz so it's a HOLY FUCKING DEUXBLE FYTE FIGHT BLOOD BLUD THAT IS I!" evilling evilly with evilled now some more evill and grin so wide my lips shooted out and smeered da arkagelns got creemed with buts of lip and new lips grew bak with eviller teeth coated in yummy blood. "LEZ DEUX DIS!"

GILGAMESH ran and dragged his swaersord and it scraped some sparks and I jumped on dem and did a spinning salsh jump dashy thing with mah mowhawk cuting legions of arhcnangles and smooshing da carnage to KO sum udders but den the not kiled ones relifed dem and dey cumed baek anywais cos der angels. "F-CK I MUTS FIDE OUT HOW TO KILE AN ANGEL HARD ENUFF!"

"YOU CANNED!" rorrd sum udder angels and God was lolling from his pad as well and I figured "O RLY!"? as I scoped up all da drippimh blood and smooshed it into da Death Note... "ROYAL DEATH NOTE GET!" and I worted "KILL ALL DESE ARCHANGELS I SEE AND DA ANGELS DEUX" and suddenly da Royal Death Note glowed a speshul colour and my hands got extra bloody and I fort "Y is it doing it dis wai? Eh nut lit it matters! :D" and kiled 76543210 angels and archangels with 90420 punches in a curved uppercut of fits that went all the wai aruond in a lewp and den konsoomd der soles so no relifing now AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So afert all dat fight Gilgy and I stoped for a rets (AN: DA EPIC MUZAK STILE PLAIS COS THAT MAKES THIS NORMAL SEEN INTO AN EPIC ONE) stoped and visited da sanck bar wich had all dese awesome foods that go really well with blood like cheesecake and ice creem brugrz and blood banana creem pie (okay it was actually banana cream pie but obvsly I can't say blood w/o banana can I?) and we snaked and GILGAMEHS sayed "It is HEVUNLY! GET IT!? Also I need a brake sos yu go get God cos he's yur bsns and GOOD LUCK CHUMMIE GO MAKE YOUR PARADISE OF SORTS!"

"FOR BLUDHAVEN!" I MOSHED ONWARDS 4 DA BIG EPIC BADDUL DAT WAS DEUX HAPEPN!

(SN: SMT II LAW TEMEE)

"Light! WHY MUST YOU BRING THIS UPON US!" It was... Misa!?1

"MY NAME IS BLUD NOW YOU BITCH!"

"BUT IT'S NOT UR REEL NAYM! ANYWAYS PLS DONUT KILE GOD WE CAN RELIFE YOUR OLD SHINIGAMI PLS!"

"SHUT THE F-CK UP ABOUT THAT I NEVER LUVD YU AND I'LL BE MAKING A NEW GENERATION OF SHINIGAMI THAT WILL BE AWESOMER AND ABLE TO SEX SO FUCK OFF YOU BIC!"

"THEN PLS SPARE US THE ARCHANGEL... OF DEATH!"

"WHO THE HELL IS HE AND WHY WASN'T HE JOINING HIS NOW DETHED BUDDI BUDDYS!?" I quested in confuse.

"HE IS..."

"ME!" It was... REM! But sahe had much holier skin and was no longer hunscjed and had glowing holy wings and a corss nekless lik Meezer and sayed, "I kiled myself for her once, and now as a cupple I can finally giv what a batstard lik yu dessertves!1"

(SN: "AAKANGEL BATTLE" SMTIV)

Rem shoted out sum holey beem and the light was strong but I curved it with my fits right into Misa and she was a gost now and I draned her sole for powee!

"YU... WAI MUST YOU KIL EVEY1 LIGHT AYA-"

"SHUT UP ON THAT REAL NAME BULLSHIP AND LET US FITE! OH AND I MUST KILL EVERYONE EVEN OTHER KIRAS AND EVIL DOODS COS I MUST BE THE BETST AT DETH SO I CAN PROMOTE FROM KING DEUX... **_EMPRAH OF SHINIGAMI!11111111111111!1111!111!11!1"_**

"Your mind is lost... pathetic... and yet you rule our kind with such ways... let me be your end..." Rem leeped up and did some wing attaks and followed up on some fits and a suplex but I spat a balckhole at hem but HSE HEADBUTTED IT RITE INTO MAH MANTHING!

"OH F-CK YU!" I gruntled at hem as he radiated in holeynis.

"Hehehehe... hurts, doesn't it?"

He golwed in even holyr radients and lashed out hare nextliss and scrpaed it acorss my manthing but I was smart and pulled out a nottie pic and my man tihng spranged up lik a spirng and herr nacklace was bonsed bak in her nose and holy white blood spurted on her chickly fase.

"Okay that was actually kinda clever. Then again I'd expect that from you." she smirked hauntingly as her lips curled into spirals and burst into manic laughter.

"HAHAHAHA U R FUNEE!" I lolled bak and punched her in the bleeding fase!

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she lolled and grabed my arm and tosed me from side to side lik Turdles in Tiem and throed me forwerd into a skreen and splat!

"Demmit yu!" I unsticked from splat andchraged strait at hre with a leep on teh hed and den a dive but she moved outta de sekund attack but some bits of floor got in her eyes and she scramed "AGH Y U PRICK TASTE DIS!" and shoted HOLYCROSSLEARS THE MOST HOLY NUCLEARS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD AND BIGGER THAN THE BIGGEST NUCLEAR IN THE HSTIORY OF DA WORD TIMS ALL DA NUCLEARS THAT JOINED FORKS DEUX MACK IT WAY BACK DEN WIF ALL DAT HAKING BUT MY BLOODY FITS HELD AGANST IT AND THEY BLEW UP ALL OUT AN WE HAD TO SEE WHO CODE SURVYVE DA BLATS! IT WAS... both :/

"DAMN THAT WAS DA BIGGEST F-CKING NUCLEAR I VAR FACDE!" I groned.

"Well there's plenty more where dat came from CHUMMIE!"

"Cept dere isn't cos the factory on the side got bloed in that slposion" God innerjechted.

"DAMN IT" Rem shooted.

"YAY HAPPY SHINIGAMI DANSE!" I sayed as I jigged whil smooshing blood bananas and den break dansed and some of does colimns borked cos of da dans and coshed Rem and one of them was shaped like a cosh so he was doublecoshed!

"I gess I sohuld shoe yo wai I am noen asda ARKANGLE... _**OF DEFH!**_"1

(SN: "METATRON" SMT3NOKTURRN)

CHAOPTURR SEX POIT FYV: **THE AAKANGLE OF DETH AND GOD! DA FUNDING OF BLUDHAVEN~!1**

_AN: OMG DA SUPPER TRAING N OPKERMANSXY S AWSUM IT MAKS EFFUT VALS LESS FO A BICHT! ALSO AWSUM F DA RABALLION HAS NEW CAHP WICH MANNY FORT WAS IMPOSABLE BUT WAS APPRANETLY NAUGHT SO IM A NECROFICCER! NOW BEGINS EPIC BATTEL!  
_

Rem's cloths heaved ass tons of mussels and curves and chesty bits emerged ten all da cloths expoled in croses which shoted lik spiny and needle. She was reeal sexiied lik even sexyr dan TIOSEAFJ on da Sex Note. NOT LIK DAT STOPS DA KILLING!

"I AM DA ARHCNANGL REMATRON! LIKE YUR UNCLEEN SUBJECTS I SHALL PRUGE YOO AND UNDER GOD'S WILL CRETAE A NU WORD UNDER LAW AND ORDER!" Rem shooted whil friring Holy Lites of sum judgy tihngy.

"LAAAAAAME!" I shooted and spatted a balck hole made of blak hoels that was suckily sucky dat ate da lite and made sum gray mater dat landed on da gurnd wif a **TUD!** noys.

Rem den flyd rite up and shoted some fetters dat EXPLODED and bits of feather got all over wich was icky and I was stuck den Rem did a sky dive with a cosh kick that hurt.

BUT I GRABED HER LIG AND HURLED HER INTO DA AIR AND SAYED "NOW WE WILL TAKE DIS DEUX DA SKYS!" and I flyd up as well cos I rememerd shinigami can deux dat... BUT THIS FLYING WAS WITH A MOTORBIKE I WAS RIDING FOR FARSTER!

"WTF!?" Rem shoted but den grabed a sord and sheeld ass she bloked da bike and curbed it up but I grabed her sord in a leep and scarped he bak and den ate da sord and gained spikier sordfists cos it was a sawrd.

"SLASH SALSA SLICE DICE MINCE HYPER CUTTER!" I shoutered acros da skies so lodu dat God herd it and termbledd a littl as Rem got scarred all over... but then she healed up an muscled up sommore and den he was lolling. "F-CK!" I sayed and spat a balck hole for her eyes but she flaped it off and begun a cokehold wihc I was suffercated wif coke which was strangly but also tasyt and sweet.

"AGAGARGEL BLARGEL BULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA" I coffed up da coek and da cola spatted on Rems fcae. "Fuck..." she sayed and reeched her wnig to cleen da icky spatted soda.

Den wif da other wing she shaped it du a handgun lik YGOTAS and went rapid fire in da brain so it was BRAIN DAMAGE!

"I will haev undeux damage d"a! I sayed and wacked ahrd on hed so fire rapided out and was magic so it turned corerns and went 4 Rem but she ate it an breethed it out.

...Only one choyse... "TAKE DIS MASHEEN GUN MADE OF BRED!" bullets shoted thru da fire an sutnned Rem and the gun toke da fyre an was toast so I ate it and it was yummy even if not blood.

"Okay let's end this yu trater!" I sayed as I grabed her by da chetsy bits and _**SEXED HER OUT COLD THEN TOSSED HER DOWN ON A PILLER AND SHE LADNED AND HER LEF WING RAZED AN WAVD IN THE RHYDUM OF A WHIT FALG!**_

"Go... to heavn's eelvader... may God have no murcy uopn yor ugly, taneted, creepy, bloody sole of creepy blood, if you even have a sole... juts one lats kesten... IF EVERYONE DIES AND YOU ARE EMPRAH WHAT THE ELL WILL YU DU AEFTR!?"

"What part of "Race of NuShinigami under my superme ruru deux yo 4get LOL!?" I lolled.

"Yu... can I at least ask to save Misa?"

"Ahahaha, sure... FIRST TO BE SAVED FORM YUR ICKY HEVUN PLAYS! "I sayed as I death noted her dead.

Rem cryd and cryd and drowned in teers and dyed... "ain't that funny... now lok hu's da fuel who cryed du deth!?"

"You still sobbed over something you already knew... :/ T-T" cryed Rem's still crying goast...

"And waht wer da cahcnes of me sparing Msia again? :)"

"...Just go to heaven's elevator and fight god already!" cryed Rem who was now sexing with Misa's gost in gost sex but both wer sad cos dey new extactly wut was goni dwon!

**IN HEAVEN'S ELEVATOR**

(SN: SMTI LAW THEME)

"Welcum 2 Heavnz Elvatar!" da menu roboted.

"Ya ya, I just want da battel nao!"

"Going UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP !1111"

The elevater went up for hours and hors wif da asem muzk plyaing and I fort, "dis is getting reel boaring dammit!"

"Want teux passe sum tim?" da elvater spoked. "Yur not da firts du complane about dis. I should tell you I was inspired by the many needlessly long hallwais of Suda51, as the Lord became an otaku supreme in attempt to coping with his inferiority until your rule pushed Rem to betray your kind."

"eh, I geass I canned balym him cos he isn't king. Still gotta live up to my planed promotion tho cos I planed it."

"Yur as immovable as dey soud. Fight the good fite, Blud Banana KING OF SHINIGAMI AND SHINIGAMI KING!" Den a fase cumed up onsecren... "TIOSEAFJ!? Wait yur not mad about being kiled, and I fort yu cared about Dark?"

"Yes cos the way yu sexd Rem ther was queit sexy if I sey so. Oh and being an elevator ain't all bad cos you get to do... **THIS!1**"

(SN: "Hiergh" Crede)

"O PLS MAI EERZ!" I scramed cos it was FUCKING CREED AND THEY FUKING SUK UGHHHHHHHH!1

"okay yu can leeve nao! XD" TIOSEAFJ giggled as da dores opend and dere was a ginat open battlefeeld and in the centre was... _GOD!1_

Locke Edit: Look, I'm just centering it so it doesn't break the edge of the board so badly...

(SN: "AWAYKUNING" XNEOGAERS)

AYE AYE SIR LOCKY MAN! CAN YOU MASTER LOKPIK LIK DA LOK CHIK FRUM RESIDET EVIL? OR ARE YOU A LOK AND IF SO HOW DOSS A LOK FEEL LIK WEN HE GETS PIKED? :0

God was waring a nu holyer disegn with an eyepatch that had fishnet crosshairs that were crosses and pouches on a belt with a cross in the centre and each pouch had a ton of zippers and so did his coat which was half rainbow color with stars and galaxies and half negative rainbow end of galaxies and pigeons and they were all sewn together by glowing crosses which were knitted with crosses on their tips and he was holding a lightsaber in one hand and a Bible Note in the other wich cumed from remnants of Death Note smooshed with holy water and also there was a halo glowing with holyclear cos he cod spwan holycleerz even tho da faktory dyed cos he was GOD and his berd had growed out to his waest in all colors of teh rainbow whil his hair extended out lik jabing needles and was al gloden and shine and his skim was ass pore whit ass it getz and he was on top of Magnetario who was stuck on top of a Metal Geat dat God had controlled cos he was GOOOOOOOD and dat was loeded wif holyclears deu xcos twas a Metal Geer ad dats wat dey shot cept when dey kik stuffs but that's not now but latter and he charged forth as da Metal Gear begun skating on lightning from the clouds that was the battlefeild and I had to dodge and leeped on top of God and was on his bak wich was glowing as his halo spun faster adn gowlde redder wiht fruy an rage an vengentz and he flaped otu du anjellik wangs with fetthers made of rainbows and negarainbows and crosses and halos in a patterny thingy and den he got out his Bible Note and wrote "Smite Blud to death" and den I feeld da death in my hart!

"FINALLY I SALL HAVE A REVENGE, LIGHT AYANAMI!" God lolled as my life was draning fats.

"I... have... only one ... choice..." I grinned bak. THEN I PULLED MY HART OUT AN OPEND IT!

"Ahahaha yu kiled yurself an I wun!" God lolled rasing his litesaber deu da ski BUT NOT FOR LONG! "WTF!?" he shooted as he saw...

(SN: "Reaper Theme" Kid Icarus)

I tore da deth strate outta my hart and smooshed it bak in wher it regenned cos Ima shinigami and flicked da little reeper so hard it EXPLODED... off in da distance where neither of we code be hit. :/

(SN: sora no joou URANUS SYSTEM)

I rased my bloody fists as God joustd wif hs Metal Gear an Magnetario and shooted Holyclears but I leeped on dem lik Bullet Bils but got hit by sum but all dat cossed was a slimy fase cos it was reel close du missing so twas juts sum scrapes.

Den God slashed his litesaber which was pure glowing white and cross shaped so the top sides had xtra rainje an wrot in his Bibbel Noet "Holy Hairs of Holydom" an his hare formd n2 a giant wip and went slash and so did his nose hares cept dey were fists lik Bobobo an chest hares froming a cross dat expanded into armoer oevr hs full body and pyoob hares were granedes lik Mad Bule 34!

"Then I will make my teckneekz even more EPICK DAN DAT!" I lolled ass all da angels' blood was suked in2 mii as I assmebelled a bloody scabby orb of all da kiled angelz dat God codent sayv and spiked it with some tack and tanks and nuclears and lava and ice and quicksand and iocane powder and kerbango and unobtanium and intheorium and som other shit all staked in and shooted start at the barrage and they were stuck agansit eech ohter bud den IT WAST ENUFF SO IT ALL CUMED BAK AND HIT ME FULL POWER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!11111!97054754907654803476452794 49674567474397492763495729725497454757825376457452 75754975942947893764377494579474597457654675494379 86754727892595429245739874587542949245942547584025 40765420875402547602590381019601586104575150820485 60824658027048208908920848754870523780240207108717 14745745716145767130983848901398439858435861380651 46083659831864856016854019813374269420

"I AINT DYING DU SUM DUM PANSY BOI!" I shotted and snotted some slime so the slimy shinigami was salmoned to take da payne and he did a pain split but my pain was so much he ended up TAKING IT ALL AND EXPLODING IT RIGHT ON GOD'S ARMOR SO IT EXPOLDED INTO PENTAGRAMS COS DATS DE OPPASITE OF DA XROSS!

God smirked at dis b4 summoning his fisty nosehares du kik me in da nose for dat but got his fits cubberd is slyme wich also oozed in sum leftover pane and dey blowed up du. Den he gote out his holey pyubz and chukked lodes off granadez and crosses were exploed an da clouds broke an we were fitting in deep spayse an landed on da sun cos he missed cos I was aiming him deux da clods den we leeped all da way deux Uranus an Pluto wich loked kinda similar and den I saw our leaps tiletd der ORBIT RITE INDEUX EECH UDDER SO NAO DEY WER DA SAYM PALNET! AND NOW ICY GAS WAS ALL OVER DA ARENA SO EVERYTHING WAS NOW COOL AS ICE!

God fed Magnetario a carrot wich sparked his magnetz wich went du his metal gear and it began skating like in Pokermans (AN: DA SUOPER TRANENG IN NU POKERMANZ S AWSUM! WE ARE KLOSER DEUX TRU COHESION BETWEEN GAEM AN MEATAGEAM!1) den leeped lik a ninja and shooted sum holyclears den God charged forward with his litesaber so I had all dese holyclears held bak in one plam whil a burnin litsabre was n d ohetr wich was a bich but after hours and hours and sexonds of holding God's grip finally weekend an I code turn dem all bak on hem.

BUT GOD WAS NOT DONE YET! HE PLUGGED HIS METAL GEAR INTO A SPACE COASTER AND RODE INTO THE ASTEROID BELT SO IT WAS AN ASTEROID COASTER!

(SN: "Asteroid Coaster - Act 2" Sonicolors)

So I let out a flurry of blood bananas and made them into a BLOOD COASTER and gave chase assteroids blowe up from duex costers crassin thru all da spayse wen God's fishnet crosshaired eyepatch began glowing and shooted grill shaped lasers like da resident evil film with dat chick who married da director so I had to raise da steaks so they got grilled in place of me and den ate dem for powerups and punched the ASTEROID COASTER OUTTA DA ASSTROID BELT and gave chass all da way due... THE END OF THE UNVIERSE!111

The cosaters beugn 2 skratch eech uther and smooshed into an UBER COSTER so now God charged forwerd Metal Gear Magnetario and All whil I rushed forwerd all kiks in. Da Metal Gear and I held a kicking battle but it was a draw so we leaped back and God wrote in his Bible Note "SUMMON JESUS" after wich he loked at me with a lolling face...

"ERRORRRRRRRR: JESUS IS CURRENTLY BUSY FIGHTING NAZIS IN ANOTHER UNVIERSE CANNOT BE CONTAKTED SOZ!" da Bible Note reported.

God stammered at dis fail cos he fayld an da coster did a loop and more loops and a 360 across the new palnet of Uranto ansome other places but he was du buzzy aboot his failings of failure and I lolled. Den he shoted way moar crosses than ussal form his litesabre cos hewrote dat in hsi bbile nOte but I doged whil advancing towars him and COSHED HIM RITE IN DA MANTHING!

His tinny manthing squirmed at how week it was and I moked him "Ahahaha, that wear is overcumpensatting sumting I C HUEHUWHO!"

God now frutsutratred smooshed his litesaber into da ASTEROID COASTER so now he was weelding it as a wepon but I toke da blood costaer and they classehd 2getter and da sparks cossed supernoves around all neerbai starz and a thru sum n2 da mix whil doing a perfict impression of Nemeiss "STARS..." form Residet Eval3 so den all da supernovas blew the BLOOD COASTER FASTER AND TEH ASTROID COASTER GOT SUKED IN AS DID SUM ASSTROIDS and sum of da PLANETS AND STARS AND GALAXIES AND AND PIGENOS AND DEY ALL EXPOLDED AGANI IN HSI MANTHING COS THAT WAS HIS WEEKNISS!

God seeing that I was piking up in da battel leeped out of spase and onto da neerets palnet.

I landed and he was dere in Metal Gear and Magnetario, dis time with his cross belts heavily guarding his lack of a manthing. "Meh" I lolled knowing I'd fid antoher way arund and den brandied my fangs in brandy den lit dem up so dey were FIRE FANGS!

(SN: ONE WHO BARES FANGS AT GOD)

Den God did a pelvic trust and a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE manthing bulged out but didn't brake it cos dat wood watse da sheeld and his fishnet eyepatch did some spinny whirrs and opened out into a full head visor, and several cups of cofee tilted lik granadze and shooted out a ling golden berd from his chin and porclaymed " I UM DA TRUEST FROM OF GOD... **_GODOT!_**"

So Godot did all da coffee grenades but only one hit and I drank it wich was blak and yummy and I cot one and thru it on his fase so his berd was staned and he was mad and charged full fors and pulled out a cross gun wich is a cros shaped plasma gun from HALO cept it shotes corssets and sum croses deux and whipped Magnetario wif his litesaber wich signalled da metal geer to outrun da bullets and did a punch that downed my gaurd and lik all da bullts had... PENETRATION!

"AGAGAGAGAGAGA" I rattled as da bullets went in but then I rattled SO HARD THEY SHOOTED ALL OUT INTO THE METAL GEAR AS IT WAS ABOUT TO SHOOT SOM COFEECLEARS WICH IS NUCLEAR POWERED WIF COFFEE GRANADSE AND CAFFEENE and tilted da cannons all the way over and around into magnetario and god and his berd and his manfing and all da palnets an galaxys he was wraeing and he spat a bunch of feet wich landed on his teef cos he aimed wrong and kicked all his teeth out but that all hit me in the shoduler wich delt deels of damaje and my rite arm cumed off.

"Then I will haev deux mayk an ew one!" I sayed and pulled out a bunch of fibers and winded dem into a fresh new arm and its fist gloed wif d apowerz of da royal deth noat 2 sho twas reddy den grabed da Metal Gear from da leg and overturned all 3 of em on da side den hurled dem in2 sum boms on da outer edge of da aerna and he landed bak lik Boser in Spuer Mraio 64.

God rorrd and da arena cRUMbled into a cross wich was reel narrow and the wide ends had turrets set on otto fyre and cross bullets were coming in reel fats but they were blind so everyone got killed in the leg and now we were limp fighting wich was reely slow and stiff and boring like deux reely old doods trying to make the most awesomest epic battle in the unvierse cept dey cant cos theyre old and smelly and slow and lame and no one likes dose kinds of fiyters and we all triped and falled but that was actually good cos that cracked our knees in the right place to trickle down the leg into the limp and they all got ejected out into some bizkits so they were LIMP BISCUITS (GET IT!?)

GOD then smooshed holyclear with coffeeclear du mayk... HOLFEELEAR wich sizzled nuclear all over and made explosions in its trail then shooted forwerd but I death fisted dem bak on all 4 corners of da corss and da arena crumblde all the way down and we were FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLING and the fight was now in midair as god flew to the side and punched but I suplexed him up before dropkicknig him bak dwon and he shoted lasers from his eyes bak but I curved around so they went bak in the slot but that just reloaded the energy so this went in a loop until he rotated in 90 degree angles so he was shooting crucufixion so it was LASERFICTION wich rhymse wif laser fiction wich are fics written in LASERS but I toke dat hit lik a man and bared da croses lik his own JESUS and God cod olny loke in sock but then raged sum more and let out a flurry of headbanging headbutts before biting my mowhawk over and over and moving down and approaching the manthing but I sprung it RIGHT UP IN HIS :O FACE!

(SN: "SATSUGAI" DETMETCIT)

"RAPE TIEM!" I shooted as jaw met manthing and God was smacked with manthing again and again as if it wer efish then shish kababd him and Metal Gear and Magnetario then grinded that up and down and up and down and cumed and cum shot shooted dem into da grund and dey all had holes in dem but God used the last of his stars and planets and galaxies to patch himself and the pigeons patched Magnetario and Metal Gear but overworkde dmeselves and died and blowed up so now all his adornments were worned out so he leeped on Magnetario whil da Metal Gear was shooting in the background but my manthing parried the bullets and erected dem into god's erection and penetrated his penetration and he was spilling his holy blood as his manthing got blowed off and that job was done so it was a BLOWJOB geddit!?

Den som more bullets stroke magnetrioa in da brane and he had a brane stroke and dey were smoking hot so it was also a heat stroke and he blowed up in a cros andd dyed dead deathly deth!

AN: OMG DIS CHAP S REELY LUNG AND I FORGOTTED DUEX MENSHEN I HAD A NEER DETH EXPEERYENTZ LATS WEAK FRUM PEENUT ALLREGIES AN LIVD DU TEL DA TAIL COS IM AWESOME? YES!

(SN: **METAL GEAR SAGA**)

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THIS! IS! _MY! _**_LAST! _****_STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDDDD!11111!1_**

God smooshed himself with his Metal Gear at the place formely his manhting and becumed THE HOLY METAL GEAR GODOT AND THEN HIS LEFT ARM PULSATED INDEUX A HUMEN WHO WAS SAMWELL BOWKETT CEPT HE WAS ALL FLESHY AND GOOEY AND WAS LINKED TO GOD WHERE HIS LEFT FOOT WOODVE BEN AND WEYLEDED DU GLOKES AND SHOOTED WHILE THE HOLY METAL GEAR GODOT DID A ROUNDHOUSE KICK DAT I TRYD TO HOLD BAK BUt CODENT COS I FALED AND HIT DA WALL!

"Too much, Light Ayanami? Did you really think you would become God and make your lame waifu a reality?" God taunted winnily.

**_"SHUT... THE... FUCK... UP ... ON MY... REAL... NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME_**1" I yold bak and crafted a swearsord dat wood outswaer all swaerwords

"Twoja matka jest beep beep * beep * ing * beep * Lorem ipsum * beep beep beep * admiumvenium * beep beep beep beep * turolagulio * beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep * Hipopotam * beep beep beep beep beep beep beep * Republican * beep beep * Daniel Radcliffe * beep beep beep beep * バケツで * ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音はあなたを聞くことができる * 遠くの城 * ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音 * スープ * ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音 * のバケツ * ビープ音 * ミッキー マウス ビープ音 * * ビープ音ビープ音をスティックの dinomite * beeeeeepppp * 魔法 * ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音ビープ音 * フーディン ！" "A SPECIAL SWARE IN A SPESHUL LANGAUGE: POLANESE AND JAPANISH! POLPANISHESE!"

Then I clashed sord against leg and sparks were fly and I cut into the Metal Gear Godot's foot and overturned it and he felled over then I pulled da sarewsorwd out and did 98772598404809524890095809258430245980542989258023 58042589245892409825407254085824052580954285480527 24958407250897254893575480753189053635869541089509 85164089141905461485961809561409586145096109861549 65468189604981098615851498516980541061598538654681 56890656804915145098154981506459068549357549683684 06540154604603905199001890136153680935602986305671 35098153057385390305864298531901583408045094045015 01696696969696969696666666666666666666666666666666 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 66666666666666666642042420421337999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999870914834081408615 3986013986563891350t965139806358905980154068954242 42424242424242000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000001111111111111111111110101001010101010 10111111111111111111111111111111111111111111000000 00000000000000000000000010111011010101000000000000 00000000000000000000000010101111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111110987654321888888888888888 88888888888888888888888830000000000000000000000969 696969696 slices and then a duel uppercut from da royal deth fists and his Metal Gear was dead and now he was KO'd!

(SN: "Fragrents of Drak Cofee" Gyaktuen Meets Jazz Versoin)

Gilgamesh leeped down and sayed "OMG THAT WAS THE MOST EPIC FIGHT I HAVE EVER SEEN!" and Otacon was also watching and he was all like "IT'S REALLY ONE OF MY JAPANISH ANNIE MAY THINGIES CEPT ITS REAL LIFE (AN: Cept it's not cos it's a youknowthisreference)!11"

"I was trailing yu cos da fite was dat awesome!" Gilgy cheered.

"Have a prezent!" I sayed giving him the god-slaying swearsword. "It's in a funny smoosh language I made and I think you should try making more languages lyke it and share dem wif me latter!"

"Aye aye sir Blud!"

"I am no longer blud! I am now from now on... NuBlud NuShinigami! AND ONCE I KILL EVERYONE I WILL BECUME THE EMPRAH OF DEATH AS PROMOTION AND NOW YUR HEAVIN IS MY BLUDHAVEN!

God cryd sum teers of blood and his visor exploded so his head blew up and he dyed wen suddenly a voyse cumed up...

"WELCOM 2 PLANET RPATZ!"

OMG THAT HAS TOBE DA MOATS EPIC CHAPER I EVER WROT! DA EPILOG IS NECKS AND DEN ITS BAK DEUX... LIGHT AND DARK DEUX! (GET IT!? IT'S A RHYME GET IT!?) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEE


	7. Epliogeu Rpatz

_AN: OMG Some dood named The D'arkest Y'agami made his own sqeual sos afetr dis chap wen we get bak 2 Lite an Drak DEUX there will be quite a bit to wryt aboot let me tell you! Anyways Uzumaki is a scarry story and I'm gonna do some spooky stuffs for this chap cos it's halloween. :E Also dis fic on now Akrive of uor Own cos dey axesept da art of manny excalmashen poyts and faffeksion dot net doughs not so F-CK dem but this fic stills gon be cuming dere cos it gets views! :)_

Da mane brushed his long white hary man and hacked a bit, "I am formerly Dumblydoor but sins Veron banished me hear I am nao Scrumblegort. I am now chef of this abandond palnet. Now cume with me cos I have a screte of da palnet to show you."

(SN: "Shihikmauru Teheme" Nrauto)

_IN A MISTY MAGIC ROOM MISTING OF MAGIC_

Skrumbellgrot toke out a wand begun to speek whil da wand smoked funny coulorz.

"Yu see there is a magic I discuvred that makes speshul magic fics..." he speakered.

"Magic fics?" GILGAMESH kestened in :? face.

"I code write fics across words! There is a truth that we are all fics cuming frum a sauce... WELL I CODE WRIT FICS BAK INTO DA WORD DA FICS CUMED FRUM! AND I CODE ALSO SEND DEM AKROS DIFF POITSN TIEM!1"

"THAT IS QUITE AWSUM MY WIZARDY CHUMMIE! I GUESS I CAN LITERALLY SAY... **A WIZZURD DID IT!1**" I chummed like a chummie chum.

"Now, to have my revenge on Veron I planed to harvest de mizery of da sause word so I toke up a penname... RASSO! And I maid... CLOUD MOWS THE LAWN!" Juts then Dumblydores wand spiraled out horrifying words of horror that twisted and his neck creeked and spiraled and spelled out a horrifying story of horror and his bones creeked and moned da fic out wich spoked horrifying things dat I donut wanna say so just imagine they maoned "Our weapons arteh love?" or sumthing lik dat and waled evilly and GILGAMESHS IRIS AND PUPILS SWIRLED OUT IN SPIRALS TOWARDS THE SPIRALING FIC LETTERZ AND SO WERE ALL HIS SORDS IN HORRORFYING HORORZ OFF HRROAROAR!

Then all da spirals unwounded as teh fic cumed to an end and he sayed, "But dat wuz not enough! I den drew on an ancient peeple's soles from dat word, kaled da Mayans, and crafted a fic so evil, that it wood harvets all teh energy I needed. I studied da syense of dimenshen smooshing and made a fic where I cod smoosh as meny unviersez as posable and throwed it bak n2 da saus word! I called it... _**raspephabio! DUN DUN DONE!1**_"

He then stroked his berd with a stroke and that begunned to tell dis story wich is not as gross but far far stupdier and pane streaked acorss as he did the twsity cept dis time it was my manthing and blood bananas gong al sipiral and twisty and when that was over some tea and chumpits falled. "And dat was when I discoverred da secret of the Mayans, that their soles transended spayse time and created acorss all of it... MAGIC! NOW WE KNO WHAT MAGIC IS! IT IS THE ENERGY OF THE MAYANS AND THEIR GRATE SOLES AND TRHU WICH I HAVE A FLAVOR TO ASC OF YU!"

"Okay but firts I want food!" I sayed smooshing some more blood bananas.

So Scrumplegort magiced summere blood bananas and some tea and chumpits for GILGAMESH who nibbled on sum and den Scrumpley sayed, "Now I want you, mysterious bloody man who I can sense is known as BLUD to make a new raspephabio, a grand tournament! I will teech you teh art of dimension smoosh via my app, EXEposition (GET IT!?)!1"

(SN: "Virtual Horror Haus" SOLE HAKKERZ)

"Activated EXEposition. WHat is it in need of expositing?" the app qesteurd.

"Tell this NuBlud NuShinigami about how to smoosh dimenshens!"

"Dimension smoosh achieved by harvesting soles. Easy method detected: at end of Unvierse which NuBlud is from's timeline the univerze ends but in a loop so that soles keep poring in. Harvets all dese soles via magic and eventally we create an agent to break the loup and salmon da Interdimenshinail Riffed wich will bring forth the grate smooshening!"

"Now why should I halp yu?" I aksed.

"Becos we will rule EVERYONE TOGETHER!"

"THAT IS AWESOME... CEPT I WANT EVERYTHING DEAD!" I rorred and bit off his hed den shaped him lik a bottle of coke and slurped all da yummy blood inside wich was magic so now I had all his magical powerz.

(SN: KAIUS THEME, but Nu deth note chantings

_KAMI MORTIS, BLOOD BANANA  
I MUST KILL EVERYONE, AS EMPRAH OF DETH  
ROYAL DEATH NOTE, DEAD SOULS O  
BESTEST SHINIGAMI, THAT IS ME!1_

THERE IS PALN IN KHAOS  
AND DAT GOFF CHIK I MAYD WIF SUM WHORE  
I WILL KILE EVERY1,

_**AWESOME!**_)

"Kira is our greatest obsession. Who has not dreamed of Death Noting people, of Life Noting others? Imagine the note. To see how our soils affect our blood bananas, and then return to smoosh them. Endless Notes. Imagine the freedom to cross NUCLEARS and journey through the ages, including the age of King Shakespeer. The freedom to Royal Death Note the past, and bend man-thingy to your will. What would you do if you had that Note? Could you eradicate the mistakes of Ancient Kira, and build a perfect blood banana? Or would you be subject to Death Noting, and be swept down the river of blood... ... powerless to change your sex? Come with me, let me show you your secret bass." I speeched evilly as I planed a grate evil and GILGAMESH gave :V face and sayed, "ya I'll cume bak wehn dis whoal paln thingy is set up have fun!" and jmuped away.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I KILLED EVERYONE SO I'M THE BEST AT MY JOB AND I KILLED THE COMPETITION SO NOW I CAN PROMOTE MYSELF FROM KING TO EMPRAH AND GIVE MYSELF A RAISE!1" I envishuned inmy hed for wen I finally go ahaed wif my paln wen suddenly I saw an evil dude approaching. It was... YOTSUBA!

"Yo NuBlud, how is this evil day on the evil planet from wich we evil dudes are frum!?"

"WTF!? Didn't yu die lik every1 else!?"

"yes, but there was one other shinigami who lived that God didn't tell you about! He is... HERE!" he greased wif his greasy hare like a Greece dood from Grease.

"I AM DA LORD AND SAVIOUR OF RAP AND POP, FORMERLY KANYE WEST... YEEZUS WRIST!" Yeezus rapped all in his Death Note aloud to everyone wich is just 2 of us but he did it anyways cos that's why killz LOL!

"Yes..." I evilled and we all began to rape.

(SN: "SYENSE OF SILENTS" NO MOAR HEROZ)

"My plan is going according to plan  
down here in bloody bloody Shinigami Land

Give me all yor blood bananas  
So I can give new plant life to da savannahs!"

_A PLAN OF NUBLUD by NuBlud NuShinigami [feat. Yotsuba and KANYE WEST, THE RAP GOD WHO KILLS (NOW KNOWN AS YEEZUS WRIST BIATCH!1 :O)]_

(SN: "communicaiton braekdwon" Xnuesgaa DEUX)

"Cept I woodent cos I knead deux mayk everyhing dead... and then make new death in my new gods of death THE NUSHINIGAMI BUT FIRTS I MUST GATTER SOLES!" I lolled and leeped bak down du da Shinigami world and magiced it into SHINIGAMI LAND where the NuShinigami that wood eventually cume wood be free to sex and evilled "My plan is going according to plan!"

So I gotted out a magic spell to harvets soulz and waited manny tim loops and it was reely boaring but ones I had enuff I magiced an agent to brake the loop: THE HUNGER NOTE GAMES THE GAME.

Den I throed it down and watched as Soychireo beeted it and activated my trap and da great smooshening WAS BEGIN and the interdemenshenal rift opend and I leeped down and landed in a mall evilly.

I saw Mello and Ruyk selling chocollate appels in dis new word and rorred **I WILL NO LONGER NEED PUNNY QOTES FOR MY WORDS!1** as I reeched for an appel and bit down with my magic strength full force but the appel was too strong and it f-cking hurt dammit!

"AND I FORT EH NO LONGER NEEDED STUPID QUOTES TO SPEEK!" I enangered wheil thinking "It will be manny deths b4 I am EMPRAH OF DETH, but I will not stop in my paln until so BOO HA HEE HOO LOL!1" with evil.

**BLUDHAVEN IS NOW KOMPLETE SO WE ARE GETTING BAK DEUX... LIGHT AND DARK DEUX NECKS TIEM! AND THERE WILL BE LOADS TO WRIT ON! IT WAS MOAR DAN A SHOTE BRAEK IN DEE END BUT STILL WE GOT TONS OF FIC DEU GO THRU SO YAY!11111!11!1**


End file.
